The Accidental Author

In 2009 I worked for an oil/fuel distributor. I sold industrial chemicals in 2005-2007 and really enjoyed it. I was a girly girl in a manly man world. I could talk shop with Maintenance Supervisors of Power Plants.

I actually had something to teach them. I understood and could explain how to clean hydraulic oil. It was empowering and I impressed myself. I was comfortable and familiar with all kinds of industrial companies and applications.

None of my friends could believe I made my living this way. Prior to my industrial journey, I was an actress and worked in the world of perfume. Now I sold malodor counteractants, lubricants and asphalt release.

The products had great names. Some of my favorites; Slippery Pull, Nutbreaker 2000 and Super Caulk.  

I worked with Cities, Waste Management, California Dept. Of Transportation, The Navy, Edwards Air Force Base and the list goes on.

After a break from the industrial world, I started back, selling oil and fuel in December 2008. Right after the economic crash. The company I worked for was quite small and the long and short of it was, they simply could not compete with the larger companies offering the same products and faster service for a lower price. It was clear to me after six months that I did not have a future there and I admit, I had issues with the fact I sold oil. I did need to pay my bills but OIL????

One bone of contention I dealt with was the fact I LIVE in open toe shoes. When I sold industrial chemicals. I always wore skirts, tank tops and sandals. No one cared. No one said anything. I did very well and it was a non-issue. The oil company had a big problem with my need for cool feet. So I would keep a pair of closed toe shoes in the trunk of my car. I was also accused of having no filter when it came to my big mouth. When the accusation was made, I informed them I did, in fact have a filter. It was in my trunk with my closed toe shoes. :)

Working in a manly man world was really cool most of the time. Though, I saw and heard things I couldn't believe. One man sat in his office and told me, in a very serious, matter-of-fact way "I am very oral." And he didn't mean that he liked to talk. Hmmmm, I am a sales rep. I want him to buy my product. I couldn't call him a name. I wasn't going to make a big deal. I heard stuff from these guys all day. As long as they didn't touch me or tell me to exchange sex for business, I would smile and act like I am not fazed. I have a tough hide and what he said did not bother me. I know he was hoping to clue me in on what he likes and perhaps, I would be so excited at the prospect of what he had to offer, I would disrobe immediately and fulfill his desire. No, I smiled and changed the subject, got the sale and left.

When I knew the writing was on the wall and there was no future for me in the world of crude (no pun intended), I decided that I would make a huge life change and move from Los Angeles to be closer to my mother living in Northern California. I had not planned on also becoming an author. Though I had already finished collecting all the stories I needed for The Virgin Diaries, I didn't think it would go anywhere.

Almost as soon as I arrived to my new home, I got in touch with Ralph Faust via Facebook (a man I knew in my youth) and after learning of my manuscript (TVD), he offered to design the format. Before I knew it, Ralph, my mother and I had collaborated on a finished product. Ralph introduced me to Creatspace.com, a sister of Amazon and The Virgin Diaries was born along with my company Ark Stories.

I dove in head first and felt my way through. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew my extensive sales experience and my years of acting and performing would definitely help me in the marketing aspect of getting my book out into the world.

Now that I have a year under my belt, I have more fuel (no pun intended again) and knowledge for book number two. I love what I do. More so than anything I have ever done.

I have cursed this economy over and over but it is because of this economy that I created a new path for myself. I have found my heart's desire!

In a weird way, I am grateful for this economic downturn. Don't get me wrong, I want improvement. I think the real benefit for many is the opportunity to start over. To realize a dream. It is easy to get lost in the everyday of paying bills and putting aside your true aspirations. Losing my job created an open door for me in my current profession.

So here we go with book number two. Already my father is asking, "What's the next book?"

The Virgin Diaries

.

 

                                    

The Virgin Diaries.

Available in print and the Kindle price is only $2.99

A 44 year old male robot  describes his "first time." Actual story from the book. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRwmszJl_us

When I originally came up for the idea of this book, I simply thought it would make an interesting read. As I designed the questionnaire, I realized the importance of the opportunity I had. To create a book that would give virgins a non-biased view on first time sex.

So often you hear things from friends that are not accurate. I was told how great it was. Parents just don't want you to even think about it but the fact is we are human beings and there will always be a natural, healthy curiosity about sex and what it's like.

Most of us know the mechanics, how it works but most virgins don't have a real understanding of what to expect emotionally. How you will feel during and afterward.

The Virgin Diaries offers stories from both sexes and even six gay stories. This provides the reader with the "other person's" point of view. Not surprisingly, most of the women who shared their story report that their first time was less than thrilling, while males (most of them) loved it. A surprise for me was the person in this book who was the oldest to have first time sex was a male in his early thirties.

The stories are anonymous, candid, awkward, funny and sad.

It has been delightful to find both men and women of all ages, including the Baby Boomer generation really enjoying reading it as well as finding value.

For those parents who wish to help educate their children on sex but aren't quite sure how to bring it up, The Virgin Diaries is a great way to start a dialogue. I have had many parents thank me for making this available and it gave them a starting point. Most say they read it first and then leave it around for their teens to find on their own rather than handing it to them.

Here is a video with three fifteen-year-old girls sharing their thoughts on "The Talk" and the book.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBfElsrqcCA

One last note, one reviewer mentioned she didn't feel that The Virgin Diaries was appropriate for teens under eighteen. While it is not my place to tell parents how to raise their children, please keep in mind a great many people in this book (including females) lost their virginity before eighteen. They did not ask permission. They did not announce it. They were curious and one fifteen year old female who was "the good girl" and on the honor role wound up pregnant. So if you are a parent, a virgin or anyone who is interested in the psychology of humanity, The Virgin Diaries is a totally unique book designed to educate, inform and entertain. More info including two full stories are on my site arkstories.com

Thanks for reading.

The Virgin Diaries 

What I Have Learned As A Self Published Author

In this last year of marketing my book The Virgin Diaries, I have learned quite a bit. I often get emails from other authors asking me how to go about getting their book noticed. So I will share some of my knowledge here.

You publish your own book. It's your baby. You have been working on it for years. You have been rejected by the agents, the publishing houses, all the stupid idiots who clearly have NO idea what they are doing!

You take matters in your own hands. The lofty dreams begin. OPRAH'S COUCH!

We ALL see it. We ALL want it. We ALL send her a copy and think/hope that she will immediately see the incredible value of our book and BOOM! Fame, fortune and everything that goes with it. It's a nice little dream. I have had it. I have lived it. Without the fortune and fame part. ALL authors, self published or not, NEED to find their audience first.
When have you seen a teaser for the Oprah or Ellen show that went like this:

Tomorrow's show - A person you never heard of wrote a book that nobody read.

NO, you hear: Tomorrow, the book that's getting all the buzz  - How To  Blah Blah Blah.

The big media venues have to get ratings. They go with what they know will bring in an audience.

You should absolutely create a great press kit and target all the television talk shows from local news to Oprah. BUT that is the L.O.N.G. shot. I will go back to Amanda Hocking. She found blog reviewers to help spread the word for her. That's how she got herself a $2M four book deal in less than a year! She writes well, she found SOMEBODY ELSE to say her work is good and has value and then it became word of mouth. She also kept her prices low, knowing someone will pay $2.99 for Kindle. It's not a big investment and it's immediate. She gets 70% of that. Not too shabby.

Finding bloggers who review your genre is KEY!! They are the ones who get to the everyday people who are really your audience. I cannot stress this enough. It's free too. It involves searching for them and pitching them. So many have an e-reader so you can email them a version and pay nothing. If you must snail mail, it's still not a lot of cash on your part.

Utilizing Facebook Ads is also an inexpensive way to target millions. Whether you direct them to your Amazon page or your website, you can bid on clicks. Facebook will recommend $1 or more per click.Yeah, of course. But you can bid anything you wish. $0.10 will do just fine. $50 goes a long way. You select your demographic and target the many subjects available on FB. Like people who "Like" Oprah!

You should also sign up for Help A Reporter Out, Reporter Connection and Radio Publicity (all dot coms). They send daily emails to you letting you know if there is someone who is looking for a story or show related to your topic. It's great exposure and it helps to build your media resume and in turn, validates you to the more high profile shows.

It is important to listen to yourself after being interviewed. Clean up your speaking skills. Watch for repeating your words, saying "Uh" a lot and make sure to LISTEN to the host. Be prepared. Have a list of questions ready to provide for them. They won't always want it but it's a good thing to offer. If possible, let them know you are available for last minute interviews if they get a cancellation. If you find you click with a particular show, ask to be a regular guest where you can weigh in on issues (not always be promoting your product). It is a great way to get people to become aware of you and they will look you up.

When you join blog groups, Facebook and all the social media, do not hard sell. You will be ignored. Who wants some stranger on Facebook to cram their product down your throat? I hide the ones that do on my page. Establish yourself as a person who creates dialogue. Be funny, irreverent, controversial...anything to get people interested in you. Then they will gravitate to what you have to offer. Most won't buy it.

That is OK, but once they know about it, it may come up in a conversation they are having with another friend..."Oh, yeah, I have a FB friend that wrote a book about that. You should check it out..."

My least favorite part of all of it is patience. Chances are you will not be an overnight sensation. So if you don't get a call from one of Oprah's people, don't take it as a defeat. There is a huge chance your envelope was never even opened and it's in the trash along with the thousands of other books hoping to be the next Harry Potter.

Just keep writing, blogging, looking for your audience. Have fun and give it to God!

The Next Wave....

It has been a while since I have blogged. So I figured it's time to get my ass in gear.

 

I was recently made aware of Amanda Hocking. She is a self published author who put her first book out in April 2010. St. Martin's Press just offered her $2M for a four book deal.

 

I read her blog and she stated that her experience is not the norm and didn't want everyone to think it was easy. While I agree with her completely, what I think she didn't stress is that this whole self publishing deal is the wave of the future.

 

I predict within twenty years, there will be no more books. It will save trees but mostly because of Kindle, Nook and the like. People these days are all about technology. I am still old school and like to hold a book in my hand. I like the feel, the smell but soon enough, everything will be either print on demand or electronic.

 

Back to Amanda Hocking and her statement about self publishing. Yes, she is an  extreme case of very fast success. Most will not find such an enormous audience as she has in such a short time. But you can compare this with any other venue. For instance, if you upload a video to Youtube, there is no guarantee that it will be forwarded around the world overnight. Chances are you won't be the next Justin Beiber but that doesn't mean you should give up. I felt her message, though realistic, was slightly discouraging.

 

If you are an author and have a good overall product, you can inexpensively upload your book and have it available to the public within weeks. You have to utilize social networking, find people to blog/review your work and create interesting press kits. Youtube is a great way to help get the public acquainted with you and your work.

 

There is no absolute way to be successful when you are creative. You fall off of the horse everyday. People try to discourage your endeavors because they are jealous or afraid you are too hopeful for a successful outcome. You must pay them no mind. Be creative. Be bold. Believe in yourself and don't let the negative convince you that it's better to just dream. The publishing world is changing and it's at the very beginning. It's an important time and by forging ahead, you become a pioneer and help to create the road others will follow.

POLITICS SUCK!

I am liberal.

Recently, I mentioned this to my conservative friend. I was warned that as an author, I should steer clear or be careful of that word. It will imply that I am...A LIBERAL!!!!

Merriam Webster's definition of liberal says in part: " of or befitting a man of free birth...marked by generosity : openhanded...given or provided in a generous and openhanded way..."

The definition of conservative reads in part: "of or constituting a political party professing the principles of conservatism: as (1) : of or constituting a party of the United Kingdom advocating support of established institutions... tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions...marked by moderation or caution...c : marked by or relating to traditional norms of taste, elegance, style, or manners..."

Isn't interesting that these two terms have taken on derogatory meanings on both sides?

Though I call myself liberal, I am not so pleased with the Democratic party. The Republican party, in my humble opinion has become in the last decade, a total and complete embarrassment with little exception. Prior to January 2000 we as a nation have thrived despite the fact our government has been divided. Something changed in the new millennium. George Bush became the became our forty-third president and the unraveling began.

The time has come for Independents to finally gain some real momentum. With the Internet, independent politicians have the opportunity to reach millions of people via social networks at a fraction of the cost of traditional campaigns. We all know that the "A list" politicians will be financed by big business on both sides. That gets the major television time, robo calls, etc. Does anyone ever take the time to listen to those annoying robo calls, read the pamphlets? I don't. Consider the homeless TV announcer who's Youtube got twelve million hits in two days. If your message resonates, it's on every Facebook & Twitter page and passed in email We live in a virtual society that grows daily.

Our system is failing us. We are really the ones to blame. The American Government is SUPPOSED to be of the people and by the people. But we are too lazy, scared or uniformed to do anything other than complain. This is truly THE opportunity for the Independents, the ones that usually just got in the way of the BIG TWO. You need to be strong. You need to be smart. You need to make intriguing videos. You will get our attention. When we like what you have to say, we'll post it, email it - we will be your marketers. For better or worse, we have become social media minions.

This is my call to a strong Independent party that will speak to both sides. We all want the same thing. A nice home, a good education, dependable, affordable healthcare and the pursuit of happiness. We need a new way to govern. I don't have the answers but someone out there does.

We just need you to introduce yourself to us. We will help you. I promise. Pass this around if you agree.

Your Child Is Curious About Sex!

Recently I had a conversation with a thirty-eight year old mom with two small daughters about how she lost her virginity. She read my book THE VIRGIN DIARIES and like so many others, felt it is an important topic to discuss. She explained to me that much like most people in my book, she didn't get any guidance from her parents. She was only warned not to have sex. Her sex education came from her two older brothers when she was six years old. They told her sex was when a penis went into a vagina and she was horrified. At age thirteen, her girlfriend told her how great sex is and that losing your virginity was a wonderful experience, everyone was doing it. This woman felt peer pressure and decided to lose her virginity at thirteen with a seventeen year old boy who she barely knew, though to this day she can still remember his name. It was outside, it hurt and afterward she felt bad about her experience.

She expressed to me that she wants to be a better parent to her girls than her parents were to her where sex education is concerned. She also talked about how awkward it is to even think about but she would rather deal with awkwardness then to have her daughters experience a situation like hers.

In the book HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, author Greg Behrendt points out time and again that women should NOT see themselves as the exception but rather they should always see themselves as the rule. Behrendt advises us to MOVE ON. Stop waiting for the guy who never calls to ride up on his white horse.

I am offering the same advice to parents. Do not consider your kids to be the exception. Just because they may tell you they are not interested in sex or they aren't sexually active doesn't mean they are being totally honest with you. It is just as awkward for them. Think back to when you were thirteen, fourteen, fifteen and up. I'll bet you were interested in one of your peers and wondered what all the fuss was about sexually. Did you admit this to your parents? Did you admit that you were curious about kissing, getting to first base or farther? Did you even feel comfortable at all asking your parents about sex? Especially the feelings associated with it?

Your children are no different. They are curious and have questions and even though it feels strange to discuss sex with you, they do want and need guidance. As parents, you prepare your kids for college, driving, SATs and so much more. It is extremely important to prepare them for sex as well. Yet so many parents leave it to the media, school and other children to educate their own children about sex. In this day and age with technology, children have access to explicit pornography via the Internet. Kids really think they know all there is to know about sex. Perhaps they understand the mechanics but how much do they know about the feelings associated with sex, especially at a young age?

I encourage you to watch this video with three 15 year old girls discussing their thoughts on "the sex talk."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBfElsrqcCA

Read THE VIRGIN DIARIES  and leave it around where your children can find it. Let them know it's OK to ask questions and try not to judge or lay down harsh, unrealistic rules about it. They are just young humans who need to be guided. Don't let your child make a foolish choice and end up pregnant, with an STD or a humiliating first time because you felt too weird to talk about it.

The Virgin Diaries is only available online. Both in paperback as well as Kindle. The Kindle price is $2.99.

You can preview two stories from the book on arkstories.com

Grow Old Or Die!

Why do so many women feel ashamed to admit their age?

I am forty-two. I have no problem telling anyone how old I am. I never have. In fact when I was thirty-two and was no longer pursuing acting, I found myself at a slew of Hollywood parties filled with producers and directors and various actors. Because I had been out of the industry for about a year, I no longer felt the pressure of how I looked or how others perceived me in order to book a gig. I was free. It became a game with me that when I met a new producer, I would tell them I was ten years older than I was and would offer how much I weighed. I could see them cringing for me and then they would lecture me on how I was supposed to keep those things private. My stock answer was "Famous people's ages and birthdays are announced every night on "Entertainment Tonight."

What difference does it make? If you look old and say you're younger than you are, people either know you're lying or they think you really look old. If you look good for your age, others see that and respect that you have the freedom to be honest.

Clearly as we age, we lose the youthful allure we get so used to in our adult life. We all want to feel attractive, sexy and alluring. I believe women at any age can be attractive and it's no secret that no matter what you look like, how old you are or how much you weigh, if you want to have sex, you can find someone.

Our culture has so much to do with it. Magazines are one of the worst culprits. I no longer buy or read beauty magazines. They bombard you with hypocritical messages. Open it up and see an article claiming you can erase years off of your face with the latest and greatest face cream. Next page is an article about how you should love yourself they way you are. The next is a picture of a mature woman who has been totally airbrushed and wrinkle free.Take this seriously and you may find yourself running to the plastic surgeon or beating yourself up because you have lines.

Regardless of how you look, age is something you have earned. You have acquired knowledge, experience, wisdom. If someone else is going to pass negative judgment on you, isn't that their problem? Why do we make it our problem?

In the last decade, I have known men who also have a hard time with the age thing though men do have it easier. They get to be "distinguished.' Not all, there are those men who don't age well. But so what??? WHY is it such a big deal? 

I take pride in knowing I have survived the challenges life has thrown at me as well as riding the wave of all the wonderful things it has to offer. I do wish I had the body I did when I was about thirty-five. I was smokin' hot. But I don't. I still look pretty good. I work out and eat well. Every day, Father Time takes his toll...on all of us.


Shame should not be a factor. The alternative is death. Which would you prefer?