Sunday, November 21, 2010

Grow Old Or Die!

Why do so many women feel ashamed to admit their age?

I am forty-two. I have no problem telling anyone how old I am. I never have. In fact when I was thirty-two and was no longer pursuing acting, I found myself at a slew of Hollywood parties filled with producers and directors and various actors. Because I had been out of the industry for about a year, I no longer felt the pressure of how I looked or how others perceived me in order to book a gig. I was free. It became a game with me that when I met a new producer, I would tell them I was ten years older than I was and would offer how much I weighed. I could see them cringing for me and then they would lecture me on how I was supposed to keep those things private. My stock answer was "Famous people's ages and birthdays are announced every night on "Entertainment Tonight."

What difference does it make? If you look old and say you're younger than you are, people either know you're lying or they think you really look old. If you look good for your age, others see that and respect that you have the freedom to be honest.

Clearly as we age, we lose the youthful allure we get so used to in our adult life. We all want to feel attractive, sexy and alluring. I believe women at any age can be attractive and it's no secret that no matter what you look like, how old you are or how much you weigh, if you want to have sex, you can find someone.

Our culture has so much to do with it. Magazines are one of the worst culprits. I no longer buy or read beauty magazines. They bombard you with hypocritical messages. Open it up and see an article claiming you can erase years off of your face with the latest and greatest face cream. Next page is an article about how you should love yourself they way you are. The next is a picture of a mature woman who has been totally airbrushed and wrinkle free.Take this seriously and you may find yourself running to the plastic surgeon or beating yourself up because you have lines.

Regardless of how you look, age is something you have earned. You have acquired knowledge, experience, wisdom. If someone else is going to pass negative judgment on you, isn't that their problem? Why do we make it our problem?

In the last decade, I have known men who also have a hard time with the age thing though men do have it easier. They get to be "distinguished.' Not all, there are those men who don't age well. But so what??? WHY is it such a big deal? 
I take pride in knowing I have survived the challenges life has thrown at me as well as riding the wave of all the wonderful things it has to offer. I do wish I had the body I did when I was about thirty-five. I was smokin' hot. But I don't. I still look pretty good. I work out and eat well. Every day, Father Time takes his toll...on all of us.

Shame should not be a factor. The alternative is death. Which would you prefer?


  1. You just made my day!! I don't think I'll ever look at being old through the same eyes again. I was so depressed last week when I turned 68. After reading your blog...I'm laughing at my silly self...and I'm claiming my freedom by loving the age I am and thankful I've lived this long. The acid winds of time does a job on all of us. I've earned every wrinkle, every gray hair, and all the sags, bags, and drags that go with aging. I'm going to embrace them all. Thanks, Kimberley

  2. Thanks Kim...very encouraging! I'm forty eight yesterday and like you have no problem with it, yeaa a few pounds more, but who day at a time and enjoy every day to the fullest :) Love yuor inspiration always!