Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Virgin Diaries & The Adult Virgin

Recently I had the pleasure of interviewing Anthony Tarquinto,  and he shared what it feels like to be a 42 year-old male virgin. Anthony read my book The Virgin Diaries and expressed gratitude that someone wrote a book for him. It was a wonderful thing to hear! I wanted this book to be helpful and informative to virgins because people who've never had sex, have questions about it. I did. The Virgin Diaries has the answers to what it feels like the first time, for any virgin of any age.

TLC aired it's controversial new show The Virgin Diaries (no relation to my book) on December 4, 2011.
Hype about the "first kiss" of a couple who just married was all over Twitter. From the tweets and comments I saw, TLC is being accused of exploiting virgins.

I watched the show. I personally do not believe TLC was exploiting anyone. They followed the lives of a group of adults who have chosen to either "reclaim their virginity" or wait until marriage to become sexually active. It is an odd thing in modern day society to be in your 30's and still be a virgin. Whether you think these folks are to be revered or ridiculed is not the point. Abstinence is their personal choice and TLC just captured a glimpse into their lives.

One thing that struck me is the fear and emotion displayed by the bride talking with a friend about her wedding night. As an adult who's never had sex, the expectation was extreme. She specifically stated that she didn't know what to expect and it was then I then shouted to the television "HELLOOOOO!!! I CREATED A BOOK FOR YOU!"

The older you are and the longer you wait to have sex puts more and more pressure on what it will and should be like. After consummating their marriage, The groom stated it wasn't what he was expecting and that it wasn't like the movies. The bride said it was painful. Well, this is no surprise to me. A.) I am not a virgin so I have real life experience here and B.) There's more than one story in The Virgin Diaries where the author states how the media glamorizes first time sex and how their first time was nothing like what they've seen portrayed in TV and film.

When I came up with the idea to collect stories of what it felt like to have first time sex, I focused more on targeting teens. Anthony Tarquinto and TLC opened my eyes to the fact that there are plenty of adults who have yet to take the leap and they have their own specific set of questions, fears and expectations. Perhaps the prolonged build-up of anticipation creates a more urgent sense of curiosity?

When Anthony thanked my mother and me for making The Virgin Diaries, it really made me think about who can benefit by reading 72 people's accounts of what it felt like, both emotionally as well as physically to go all the way. TLC's show convinced me that those who choose abstinence, for whatever reason, would like to be able to utilize the information I've collected.

Nothing compares to first-hand experience but to fill the gap while waiting, The Virgin Diaries promises to help answer whatever questions may arise. Of the 72 men and women who shared their story, a good portion were 20 and older before they lost their virginity.

Watch a Youtube of an animated avatar reciting a story from the book: VIDEO
***As a result of the TLC premiere, the video has gotten over 8000 hits since 11/29/11.

The Virgin Diaries is avaiblable for purchase on Amazon.com. Paperback and eBook.
See more information on http://www.arkstories.com/

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