Friday, March 23, 2012

3rd Graders Engage In Oral Sex At School

I saw the shocking headline 3rd Graders Reportedly Have Oral Sex Under Desk, Teacher Fired For Not Noticing and immediately thought; another example of why parents should be pro-active when tackling the issue of sex education in the home.

As an author of a book on first time sex meant for teens and virgins, I occasionally catch some flack from parents saying teens should not talk about or even know anything about sex. It's understandable that the idea of your child thinking about, engaging in or talking about sex is an uncomfortable one, but when you delude yourself as a parent and see your child as the exception, you do your child a disservice. You leave them to find out for themselves about sex and they usually get their information from peers, television and social media and that information is usually not accurate.

Here's the deal. Children are exposed to sex. Somehow, some way these third graders found out about oral sex. I'll tell you, when I was eight, there was NO WAY IN HELL, I would have let ANYONE see my private parts. But that's me. There are those youngsters who don't take issue and don't feel that same kind of embarrassment. I personally don't think what they did was wrong. But I also think that it should be explained to them that it isn't appropriate and why this kind of behavior is not to be repeated. Not by shaming them or by telling them that curiosity about sex is wrong but by being honest. I would ask where they saw this behavior and LISTEN to how they reply. I would explain that these kinds of actions are designated for adults as an expression of emotion and that they are done in private. Maybe compare it to drinking alcohol. It's only for people of a certain age and must be done responsibly. Let them know it's a difficult subject and not easy for them to understand but ask them to trust you and one day they will see why this sort of thing is not acceptable for people their age.

By raging, freaking out and making them feel shameful, you don't help them. You may even be encouraging them to be more curious.

Take a look at three fifteen year-old females talking about how they feel when it comes to parents, sex and thoughts on my book, The Virgin Diaries.


  1. Seriously huh? I can't believe that a 3rd grader kid would even think of doing that.

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